Zombieland (2009)

Starring: Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Emma Stone, Abigail Breslin, Bill Murray

I’m a massive fan of zombie films. Have been since I watched Night of the Living Dead at my friend Marty’s on the biggest TV I’d ever seen. I’ve seen all the Romero classics (and sadly his newer, most definitely non-classics), all the good and bad “of the dead” remakes, and I loved 28 days/weeks later - despite the screams of hardcore zombie nerds that “They’re not real zombies!”. That said, zombie nerds are cool and I’d much rather hang out round them than any Twilight-obsessed teenybopper.

The story is narrated by Jesse Eisenberg’s Columbus – a World of Warcraft playing, IBS suffering loner, who practically has ‘Virgin’ tattooed on his forehead (maybe Eisenberg should begin to worry about what this typecasting is doing for his rep). Something that struck me was that though his narration was smooth, polished and cool, his character was anything but. I didn’t feel like his character had any real depth or inner conflict – I much preferred him in Adventureland.

Columbus teams up with Harrelson’s Tallahassee (who I feel the movie would’ve bombed without) in his struggle to get back home to his estranged parents. Tallahassee’s a great character; a done-to-death stereotypical redneck, but with great lines, a great performance by Harrelson, and pretty fucking great hat. Tallahassee is on the search for only one thing: a Twinkie.

And I think that says it all for how seriously the scriptwriter actually took the zombie genre.

While mashing up the undead on their travels, they meet Stone’s Wichita and Breslin’s Little Rock. Stone I recognised from Superbad - but only just – thanks to the 5 or so layers of thickly applied eyeliner her character has somehow managed to apply in the midst of a zombpocalypse. Breslin of course is from Little Miss Sunshine; she’s a really great child-star alternative to the simpering Dakota Fanning. Of course, Columbus instantly falls for Wichita, despite the fact the girls steal their guns and SUV and drive off into the sunset.

Zombieland looked amazing from the trailer. It seemed to have all the right ingredients for a really good rom-zom-com to rival Shaun of the dead:

• Zombies – check.
• Blood and guts – check.
• Comedy – check.
• Ace cast – check.

However, Shaun of the Dead doesn’t have to worry about being knocked off its mantle for now. Zombieland seemed to be written and directed by a bunch of guys who watched the remake of Dawn of the Dead and based their entire genre knowledge on it. While Shaun of the Dead was a homage to Romero, Zombieland was more like the High School Musical of zombie films. I couldn’t help liking it but God...it was disgustingly gimmicky:

• The loser who gets the girl – check.
• Carefully placed swear words – check.
• Big penis-metaphor guns – check.
• Pop-culture references that a hermit could get – check.

That said, it isn’t without its charm. It’s a funny movie with some great lines and as I said before, a really great performance from Harrelson.

I don’t think Zombieland was made for hardcore fans of the zombie genre, but rather those who’ve seen a few or zero zombie movies. I definitely wouldn’t watch it with a die-hard zombie fan, as the dialogue would be drowned out with cries of

a) “Zombies can’t climb ladders!” b) “Zombies can’t negotiate doorknobs!”
c) “Zombies can’t RUN!"

I could spend hours writing about all the ways Zombieland pisses all over the zombie genre, but I don’t want to bore you and besides, it really is a pretty good film. Sadly - and this has become a real gripe of mine lately - literally all the best bits are in the trailer (despite an excellent uncredited cameo). Watch it for what it is – a comedy horror movie. Just don’t get too hung up on the Z-word, and you’ll enjoy it immensely.

“What’s the best thing about living in Z-land?”
“No more facebook status updates.”
Never a truer word uttered.