Starring: Ben Kingsley, Christopher Walken, Bill Murray,
Scarlett Johansson, Lupita Nyong’o, Neel Sethi
So we all
know the Disney classic. We’re all familiar with the bear necessities of life.
I think when I was younger I watched the VHS of The Jungle Book to death and
had an unhealthy fixation with the shiny black panther Bagheera (or is he a
puma? I can’t be bothered to google it). I also had one of those books with the
buttons on the side that made Jungle Book sound effects. You know, those ones
that parents just LOVE, especially when they’ve heard the same sound effect 300
times in a half hour stretch, ripping erratically through their ear drums like
a 3 year old with a Cheestring. However, upon sitting down (3 rows from the
front, right at the side, eurgh) to watch Jon Favreau’s 2016 live action
reimagining, I suddenly realised my memories of The Jungle Book were rather
paltry.
There’s
a tiger right? And some fire? A bear that wears some coconuts on its tits? I
leant over to my best friend Lily:
“What
happens in this again?” Lily pondered for a while.
“He
meets a girl or something.”
If
by “girl”, Lily meant “giant bear with the voice of Bill Murray”, then yes, she
was right.
Anyway,
necks awkwardly crooked and trying not to breathe in the overwhelming stench of
Lynx Africa (fitting) emanating from the chav with tribal tattoos sitting next
to us, we settled down to watch the film.
The
reason I’d decided on rather a whim to watch it in the first place was because
the visuals looked absolutely stunning. I like Jon Favreau’s directing but I’m
more used to him directing fare such as Elf and Iron Man so I didn’t really
know what to expect from him in this case. I was really pleasantly surprised.
The
whole film does look amazing. While I’m not a huge fan of CG, the animals all
looked incredibly real and were beautifully rendered. I like it when you’re
watching something animated and they attempt to make the characters look a
little like the actors voicing them – it took me ages to place King Louie’s
voice until I looked into his eyes and saw Christopher Walken looking back at
me. Saying that, I did get a bit confused and think that Jason Statham was
voicing Shere Khan…it was actually Idris Elba. My bad.
The
action scenes were choreographed exceptionally and even from my crooked angle I
could follow them perfectly. There’s nothing I hate more than swishy, “artistically
shot” action scenes where you have no fucking idea what’s going on.
I’m not a big fan of small children in general
(except my friends’ kids, shout out to Rowan and Iris) but the little guy
playing Mowgli was…ok. I mean, he was fine. But I spent the entire first half
of the film wondering where he got the red material for his pants (a massive
red nappy when he was a baby apparently – that’s some durable fabric), and then
the second half wondering how he hadn’t died yet. It was kind of like a Revenant-lite, in a way.
How do you survive essentially being stampeded by a herd of buffalos, falling
down a cliff edge into a swirling river, strangulation by a behemoth, sexy
snake (voiced by Johansson, nonetheless), being stung to death by a shit-tonne
of bees and hurled through the jungle by monkeys in a cult reminiscent of the
Manson family? Apparently as long as you’re wearing really snazzy bright red
pants, death is just not an issue.
Individual
performances in the film were all great, but there are few that deserve a
special mention. Christopher Walken as King Louie was terrifying. I loved the
way they recast him as a decrepit, festering King Kong type. He still sings his
little song but when you watch him you feel constantly on edge, and a little
bit repulsed. I mean you sing along anyway, because it’s a banger of a tune,
but you feel a bit uneasy about it. A bit like when Lost Prophets comes on your
Spotify and you find yourself tapping your foot in time with the music.
Scarlett
Johansson enjoys a brief cameo as Kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa (Kaa), which was good, and
quite scary, but I felt she was a little under-used. Obviously in the Disney
film he’s more of a bumbling comedy vehicle, but in this she was evil and very,
very lethal.
“But
Kaa is supposed to be a MAN!” I hear you scream.
Get
over it. It’s still an extremely male cast that Jon Favreau has diluted to a
point. Ghostbusters this ain’t.
Overall,
it was a good, enjoyable film. There were only 2 songs from the original in it,
and only sung in part, but I’m not sure they added anything really. The only
thing they gave me was a desire to float down a river on a bear’s belly, which
really is not a good item for the bucket list and I should probably ignore it. If
you’re taking kids, they’ll love it. If you’re going for nostalgic reasons with
mates, you’ll also really enjoy it. Your nan will quite like it too (I’m
determined to keep the nan-ometer running).
If
your worry is that it’s going to be too childish for you, there are, as ever, some
bits added in for adults, and some wry humour that will have you chuckling
while the children in the audience look perplexed.
Little
idiots.
